I’ve
read my fair share of self-help books and regardless of the topic usually find
some nugget of wisdom to reflect upon. But the most inspiring of late may very
well be Jessica Herrin’s recently released “Find Your Extraordinary:
Dream Bigger, Live Happier, and Achieve Success on Your Own Terms.”
While I won’t give away all her messages, here are a few points that may
resonate with anyone aspiring to live a stellar life.
1. Authenticity leads to true success.
While many believe success
involves lots of money and possessions, Herrin says that’s not it, at all.
Rather, truly victorious individuals live their lives in alignment with their
values. To identify yours, she suggests asking questions such as:
– What makes you happy?
– Who are the people you
love so much their joy is your own? (These are the only few you should be
trying to impress.)
– What do you want your
impact on the world to be?
– What goals really mean
something to you?
– Are you meaningfully
connected to what you’re doing?
“Happiness
doesn’t come from success,” she writes. “It is success, because if you’re
happy, then you’ve succeeded–in the most extraordinary way.”
2. Success has many different starts.
Herrin, now founder and CEO
of the Stella & Dot family of brands through which over 50,000 business
owners have collectively earned more than $300 million since 2007, attended
community college after high school instead of a typical four-year university.
A straight-A student who waited tables to pay for classes, her intention was to
transfer to Stanford. It was a goal her guidance counselor promptly tried to
squash, telling her no one ever transferred from a junior college to the
prestigious university. Herrin proved her wrong and graduated from Stanford a
few years later.
3. Take a look at your younger self to see your potential.
She suggests this
exercise: Find a photo of yourself as a child around the age of 5. Chances are,
you’ll see things like joy, curiosity and excitement in your young face. Likely
you will not see the doubt and negative self-talk many adults allow to roll
around in their minds. “It was amazing how many mean things I had said to this
girl between then and now,” she writes. “Yet in looking at this photograph, all
the flaws I think of myself as having suddenly disappeared. When I looked at
the essence of this little kid, I saw no evidence of those ‘less than’
qualities I used to believe were my core traits… I saw a little person who
could do anything.”
4. Impress yourself first and then only a few important people in the center of your life.
Beyond yourself, it should
only be a small circle of people whose opinions matter to you–perhaps your
partner or spouse and children. People spend so much time worrying what others
think, but seeking outward validation from people who ultimately don’t care
that much is a waste of time and energy.
5. Talk to your wise future self.
Herrin asks readers to
visualize themselves floating on a river boat watching
the milestones of their lives pass by on the shoreline. Imagine this is
you, and after seeing the years pass before your eyes you finally
disembark at a lovely home where you are greeted by your future self–an older
and wiser you. This is your opportunity to ask this person what different
choices you would make if you could go back. Or, in the grand scheme of things,
what matters most? What was your greatest achievement?
“When something small or
short-term is weighing me down, I ask my future self if she cares about this at
all,” she writes. “Turns out, she actually cares about a pretty narrow set of
things! Family, love, friendship, and impact. If she’s not overly worried about
a short term-term situation, why should I be?”
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